1800GETLAID
by southernbangel
Summary: Haley had always laughed at those late-night commercials. Who knew she’d soon be starring in her own?


**Summary: **She had always laughed at those late-night commercials. Who knew she'd soon be starring in her own?

**Rating:** Adult. As noted by the oh-so-witty title, the fic features phone sex.

**Author's Notes:** This is yet another story I've posted to my LJ and forgot to post here. It was written in May 2008, prior to the mention of phone sex during S6. (Awww yeah, phone sex is canon!)

* * *

"Hello?"

"Hey Hales. How's our boy?"

Haley smiled as her husband's voice washed over her. He always called after their away games, and it never failed that his first question concerned Jamie's well-being.

"Nathan, you will never believe what's happened! Jamie learned how to talk, walk and finished potty-training since you left! Oh, and I'm fine, too. Thanks for asking," she teased, her barely suppressed laughter coloring her words.

"Very funny, baby. I've only been gone 24 hours."

"And our son is only six months old. His activities basically consist of eating and sleeping, and he's performed them amazingly well since you left. All of 24 hours ago."

They continued to tease and laugh with one another, and Haley felt immense pride bloom in her chest as he told her about the game. Although he downplayed it, she heard the note of accomplishment in his voice as he mentioned his performance, and she knew that every day he stepped onto the court, he felt grateful to Whitey for giving him back the game he loved so much.

"Babe, I'm so proud of you. I know this hasn't been easy for you, but you've done it," she told him, pride warring with love as she spoke. "I know I don't tell you enough, but I'm proud of you every day, for what you do on the court, but more importantly, how you are as a husband and a father."

"Hales," he breathed, too overcome to say anything but her name.

Haley brushed away a tear, and she felt an ache bloom in her chest at Nathan's absence. She missed him when he traveled for his away games, and although she knew he would be home tomorrow afternoon, she missed him fiercely. Although she was usually busy with classes and taking care of Jamie at night, their home always felt a little less cozy, a little emptier whenever Nathan was on the road.

It didn't help matters that she was horny as hell and had been since he left yesterday afternoon. Due to Jamie's schedule and Nathan rushing out of the door to meet his teammates, they'd been unable to indulge in their usual goodbye ritual, and right now, Haley was mentally chastising herself for not putting their son down earlier for his nap. She needed sex, damnit, and, contrary to Brooke's assertion at their rehearsal dinner, she didn't Haley herself that often. Why settle when you had Nathan Scott in your bed every night?

But oh, she was tempted, and hearing her husband's utterly sexy voice did nothing to curb the lust building low in her belly.

"Nathan, what time will you guys be getting back?" Desire suffused her words and she didn't bother to hide it.

"Missing my hot bod already," he laughed, and Haley blushed at the truth behind his words.

She shook her head and returned the teasing. "Nah, I'm wondering what time your teammate Greg will be home so I can sneak over and see him. You know how I love basketball players."

She loved this aspect of their relationship, the easy, flirty banter that bled into so many of their conversations. So much of their early married life was marked by drama: to the disapproval shown by Nathan's family to Haley's music and subsequent tour to the school shooting to the car accident to the surprise pregnancy. It was easy to get overwhelmed by the rollercoaster that was their life, but now that they were in college and finally on stable ground, the simple fact remained that for Nathan and Haley, they found their happiness in the other and in the family they created.

Nathan spoke loudly but slightly distanced, as if speaking to someone in another room. "Suzie, I told you to get dressed and go! I've already ravaged you three times, I'm tired." He lowered his voice and spoke to Haley again. "Sorry, baby, the, uh, maid was just leaving."

"Right, Mr. Player," she giggled, amused by his antics. "You're such a dog, throwing out that poor cheerleader. I bet you broke her heart."

"Well, I _am_ Nathan Scott. That's what I do best."

"That's not all you do best," she purred as he laughed at her innuendo, their joking only serving to stoke her arousal even higher. There was nothing she loved more than making Nathan laugh. Well, _almost_ nothing more, she thought to herself as her nipples tightened at the memory of one of their more playful experiences in the bedroom.

"In fact, I remember you being particularly good just the other night."

"I-I. . ." He cleared his throat and Haley inwardly cheered at the nervous gesture.

She was _good_—hundreds of miles away from him and she could still leave Nathan Scott speechless.

"Why, Mr. Player, did little ol' me leave the big, bad basketball star a fumbling, nervous wreck?"

Her glee at his awkwardness was short-lived, however, as he quickly turned the tables on her with his next words.

"What are you wearing, baby," he murmured, his voice low and dripping with lust.

Damn him, damn him, damn him! He knew what that voice did to her, he knew that type of insinuation sent her mind reeling and practically left her a gibbering idiot. It wasn't that she was a complete prude—last Saturday night definitely was a check in the "Haley is a not a prude" column—but phone sex just seemed so. . . awkward and unsexy. Those late night commercials were so silly, and Haley always laughed at the so-called appeal of listening to creepy old men breathing heavily into the phone or a housewife in Nebraska pretending to be a young, buxom blonde. Even though she engaged in some light dirty talk in the bedroom, having full-blown phone sex was a step she was hesitant to take.

Although if Nathan kept speaking to her in that lust-roughened voice, she knew that hesitation wouldn't last too much longer.

"Nat—"

"I know, Hales. I was just teasing," he interrupted, soothing her frazzled nerves. "Listen, baby, Whitey wants to have a team meeting to review the game so I better go. I'll be home around three tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. James will be down for his nap then, so you and Luke need to be quiet when you come in." She reminded him of their son's schedule, as if he didn't have it memorized as well.

"We will, Hales. Give the boy a kiss for me, and I'll see you both tomorrow."

"No kiss for me," she mock pouted, her voice light and playful.

"Mmm, I have more for you but you won't get it until tomorrow." He laughed as she stammered a reply, still thrown at times by her husband's blatant flirting.

"Yeah, yeah, you talk a big game, Nathan."

"Oh, I do more than talk, baby," he vowed, his words causing want to swirl low in her belly.

"Alright, perv, I need to go as your son is due for another feeding. I love you, Nathan," she told him, smiling into the phone as he blew a kiss over the line. "And you say I'm the cheesy one in this marriage."

"I love you, too, Hales. See you tomorrow afternoon. And you are the cheesy one in this relationship," he retorted before hanging up.

"Always has to have the last word," she muttered as she placed the phone in its cradle, shaking her head as she left the room to check on her newly awakened son.

* * *

Three days.

Three long days.

Three long, unsatisfying days during which Haley thought she was going out of her mind.

Nathan left three days ago for a tournament in Atlanta, and she was so horny, so desperate for release that even Haley-ing herself the previous night did nothing to relieve the ache. Only Nathan could, and barring an unexpected loss, he was gone until Saturday, two days away.

The first night he was gone, she was tempted to respond when he jokingly asked her what she was wearing but chickened out at the last minute. She was horny, yes, but phone sex seemed so impersonal, so. . . not her.

She quickly changed her mind the next morning when she awoke, sweaty and trembling with unfulfilled longing and no husband to slake her desire. After feeding James and leaving him with the babysitter, she took her laptop to a nearby café and attempted to research the dos and don'ts of phone sex. After all, she was Tutor Girl and Tutor Girl was always prepared, right?

After the fourth link took her to yet another porn site, she logged off and began to think of other options. Going to the library was definitely out—not that the public library would even have a how-to manual on phone sex, calling Brooke was _definitely_ out, and even thinking about bringing up the subject with Nathan was too awkward. Sure, she was contemplating engaging in phone sex with her husband, but talking about the possibility with him in the light of day? Nuh-uh, no way.

Defeated, she resigned herself to suffering through several more nights of no relief, but the dream she had that afternoon while taking a nap while Jamie slept was the final straw. She had been her class valedictorian, had taken AP courses that left her eyes crossed at times, she could engage in some simple phone sex with her husband, damnit!

Of course, she still had no clue how to go about it. Did she blurt out, "Hey, I wanna have phone sex" the next time Nathan called? Did she ask him what _he_ was wearing and hope that he got the hint? Did they work up to it or just jump right to the dirty talk? God, she had no clue what she was doing and she knew that Nathan did; he had been rather friendly before they dated, after all. She knew her inexperience didn't matter to him, he told her repeatedly how arousing it was that he was her only lover, but sometimes their differences in experience unnerved her.

Winging it seemed to be her only option, but as she studied the cell phone in her hands, waiting for Nathan's nightly call, her nerves jangled as she thought about what she would say. Or not say, because as her phone rang, any confidence she built up quickly fled. Maybe she could just suffer until he came home. No one ever died from lack of sex, right?

"He-hello?" Her voice was weak, strangled, and she cursed silently.

"Hey, babe. How's Jamie? Missing me?"

His voice swept over her, soothing her frazzled nerves, and she felt a spark of desire ignite low in her belly. Just hearing his voice left her nearly trembling with desire, and as he told her about the game, about how much he missed her and James, her confidence grew with every word. He was her husband, they had done things that left her blushing the next morning, so why not this?

She could do this.

She would do this.

Nathan Scott was in for quite a surprise.

"We're fine, Nathan, just missing you horribly," she told him as her mind raced to think of an appropriate transition instead of, 'Nate, I'm horny. Wanna talk dirty?' She knew that one would work, but she hoped to be less direct, more seductive.

"Nathan, I think we should try phone sex."

Okay, the direct approach it was.

"Wh-- I mean. . . what?" He sputtered his disbelief, and Haley bit back a groan of embarrassment.

What if he didn't want to do this with her? Nathan was always enthusiastic about their sex life, but what if this was too much for him? Wait, was she saying? This was Nathan Scott; he probably had those late night numbers memorized at the age of 13.

She was silent for long moments, unsure of what to say. Apologize? Take it back? Chalk it up to temporary insanity?

"Hales, are you sure?" His concern was palpable over the phone line. "Not that I don't want to, but are you. . . I mean, you're sure?"

Sure? No. Horny? Hell yes.

"I want to do this, Nathan. At-at least try it," she said, her voice wavering only slightly. "It's just that I miss you so much, and god, Nathan, I need you and you're not here—"

"I know, baby," he interrupted her rambling, his voice taking on a rougher edge. "You know how much I always need you."

Taking a deep breath, she plunged ahead. "So let's try it, Nathan. I-I don't know how good I'll be, or even if I'll be good at it. . . "

"Stop right now, Hales. That doesn't matter to me, but if you're asking, I think, no, I _know_ you'll be terrific at it. In fact, I'm getting hard—"

"Nathan," she laughed, embarrassment warring with desire at his words.

His laughter echoed in her ear. "Babe, you do realize what phone sex entails, right?"

She rolled her eyes, uncaring that she was alone, and muttered, "Yes, I do, but I didn't think we'd just jump right into it."

"Because blurting out 'let's have phone sex' isn't jumping right into it?" His amusement was contagious, and Haley giggled at her forward behavior.

"I was a little direct, wasn't I?"

"Just slightly, babe. Not that I mind, of course."

"You're such a martyr, Nathan Scott," she teased before clearing her throat. "So. . . how do we start?" She winced at the blunt statement. Nice segue, she chided herself.

Nathan paused, as if gathering his thoughts, and for one horrible minute Haley thought he changed his mind. She didn't know if she could take his rejection, not after building up her courage to bring up such an awkward subject.

"What are you wearing?" His voice was low and husky, the timbre sending a bolt of pleasure straight to her core. God, her husband had the sexiest voice.

"Uhm, a Tree Hill Ravens basketball shirt and a pair of your boxers," she told him, glancing down at her typical nighttime attire. "Oh wait; I should be wearing lingerie or something, right? Damn, Nathan, I told you I wouldn't be any good at this."

Not even a minute into her first attempt at phone sex and she was screwing it up. Maybe she should have done more research on the internet. . .

"N-no, no, you're doing fine," he muttered, biting back a moan at the mental picture formed at her words. "Do you know what it does to me when you wear my clothes?"

She blushed and ducked her head although she was alone in the room. "Why don't you tell me?" She flirted with him, eager to let him take the reins.

"So you want me to do all the work, huh?" His voice was light, but Haley caught the undercurrent of concern in his words.

Sighing, she settled back against their pillows, the familiar scent of his cologne wafting over her, and she smiled as her gaze landed on the picture on Nathan's nightstand. It wasn't a professional-quality picture, but of all the pictures lining the walls and tables throughout their house, it was her favorite: a hastily snapped photo of the new family shortly after James's birth, both Haley and Nathan's faces radiating the same love and awe for the tiny, pink baby in her arms.

Shaking her head to clear it of thoughts of her son—definitely not what she needed to be thinking about right now—she curled deeper into the pillows and murmured, "You haven't complained before about doing all the work."

"Nice, Hales," he laughed. Lowering his voice to a throaty whisper, he said, "Which ones are you wearing?"

"The blue plaid ones," came her response, her breath catching at his low groan. "You picturing me in them, baby?"

"God yes."

"What else are you picturing?" Her words were hesitant, and she winced at the slight quaver in her voice. "Nath—"

His soft exhalation interrupted her apology. "Hales, don't apologize. I know this is something new, something uncomfortable, so if you don't want to do it, we don't have to."

"I do want to, Nathan, I promise. I just. . . maybe it's best I don't say anything?"

"Haley. . .," he trailed off, unsure of what to say to relieve his wife's anxiety. "I want you to enjoy this, baby, and if you're too uncomfortable, we don't have to. Why don't you tell me what you and the baby did today?"

At his words, she felt her nerves lessen as he gave her a way out. No, she was determined to do this. It's not like she and Nathan didn't talk dirty to one another while they made love, so what made this situation so different? This was _Nathan_, the man she shared everything with, the man who stood between her legs while she gave birth, for god's sake. And she was getting uptight about saying a few naughty words over the phone?

Haley James had never backed down from a challenge, and Haley James Scott certainly wasn't going to start now.

She sat up, tucking the phone between her ear and her shoulder as grabbed the hem of her shirt in both hands. Pulling the shirt over head, she nearly dropped the phone and scrambled to grab it, the tinny sound of Nathan's voice echoing in the stillness of their bedroom.

"Hales. . . you still there, Hales?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here," she breathed into the phone as she settled against the pillows once again. "Just making myself more comfortable."

"Yeah?"

"Nathan. . ." She bit her lip and took a deep breath, feeling like she was standing on the edge of a cliff. A cliff she was sure she wanted to jump off of with him, only ever with Nathan. "Now I'm wearing your boxers. _Just_ your boxers." She grinned at his audible gulp.

"Ju-just the boxers?"

"Mmm-hmm. . . and it's getting pretty hot so I may have to take those off as well. To cool down, of course," she teased as Nathan made incoherent, gibbering noises. Full steam ahead, baby!

"Are you touching yourself, Haley?"

"Nathan!" She gasped, her cheeks flushing with color at his bold question. Okay, so maybe she wasn't as ready to jump off that cliff as she thought. . .

"You're not the only who can tease," he retorted, unsuccessfully stifling a laugh. "Hales, I can practically hear you blush over the phone."

"Fine, Mr. Phone Sex Expert, and I really don't know want to know if that's true by the way, why don't you tell me what you're wearing," she huffed, irritated that she was still so easily flustered by her husband.

"Nothing."

Oh, that must be what an aneurysm was like because Haley swore her brain broke at his response.

"N-no-nothing? Naked?"

"As a jaybird," was his smug response.

Her mouth gaped open as she struggled to formulate a response, any response, but the image of Nathan stretched out on his hotel bed without a stitch of clothing made it difficult. Hell, the mental picture alone made breathing difficult. Her husband was going to be the death of her one day.

"Still with me, babe?"

_Oh, he is just way too amused by this_, she thought to herself. _Gotta take him down a notch or two_.

"Still here, babe," she mocked. "It'll take more than just you naked to throw me off. After all, it's not like I don't see it every day."

"Oh, did I forget to mention that I'm hard as a rock at the thought of you in my boxers? I'm so hard, Hales," he breathed into the phone, his voice taking on the unmistakable growl that signaled just how aroused he was.

Yep, Nathan was definitely going to be the death of her someday.

As she struggled to think of a response—okay, so maybe the thought of him naked was enough to rattle her—he continued, his heated words stoking the fire that was building in her center.

"Take off your boxers, Haley."

The simple command left her scrambling to pull the thin cotton boxers off, dropping them on the floor beside their bed. The slight breeze caused by the ceiling fan caused goose bumps to form on her flesh, and she shivered at the contrast between the cool temperature of the room and the inferno fairly raging through her veins. It was a delicious feeling, and as Nathan continued to tease her, each sentence more and more arousing than the last, she gave herself over to the rush of pleasure.

"Are you wet, babe? God, I bet you're so wet," he murmured, and Haley shifted restlessly against the bed at his words.

Cradling the phone between her shoulder and ear, she cupped her breasts, tickling the smooth underside with a light touch of her fingertips. She stifled a moan as she worked the firm flesh, moving her fingers to the hard nipples, pinching and tugging on the hardened points as sparks of pleasure rushed straight to her pussy.

"Mmm, are you touching yourself, Haley? Are you playing with your breasts? Or maybe your pussy? Tell me, baby."

"My-my breasts," she whispered, pressing her head further into the pillows as she continued to toy with her nipples. Bringing one hand to her mouth, she moistened a fingertip before trailing it back to her breast, rolling the nipple with the wet pad of her finger.

"Pinch your nipples for me," he directed her as he brought his hand to his hard flesh. "Pinch 'em the way I know you like it, the way I do it. God, Haley, I love your breasts. Mmm, I'd love to be with you right now. You know what I would do if I was there?"

Shaking her head to clear the lust fogging her mind, she cleared her throat before responding. "W-what? Tell me, Nathan, please." Her voice lowered to a throaty purr, unashamed to beg him for more.

Slowly running his hand up and down his hard cock, he told her exactly what he would do. "First, I cup your breasts in my hands. They fill my hands perfectly, and they're so soft, so silky smooth when I run my tongue over your skin. I plant kisses along your collarbone and down your chest before approaching your nipples. What do I do next, baby? Tell me."

"Oh god," she breathed as she increased the ministrations on her breasts, alternatively pinching and tugging the sensitive nipples. Nathan had made her come several times by merely lavishing attention on her breasts, and Haley felt herself approaching climax. Not wanting to end the fun too soon, she trailed her hands down her torso towards her aching center.

"What do I do next, Haley?"

"You. . . you suck a nipple into your mouth, and nibble on it while teasing the other. You drive me wild as I beg you to suck harder, nibble more, tug my nipples, and you tease me, never quite using the pressure I desperately crave," she told him as she stroked the smooth skin of her lower belly. Edging a hand closer to her pussy, she brushed the soft, wiry curls covering her mound.

"Mmm-hmm, and just when you're about ready to come, when you're wet and dripping for me, I leave your breasts, trailing my tongue down to your stomach, stopping to kiss and tease your adorable belly button before. . . before what?" He prompted her, increasing the pace on his cock as he whispered naughty things to his wife.

"Before you get to my. . . pussy." The words were low and throaty, and she gasped on the last word as she traced her lower lips, feeling how wet she was. She was soaked, and Nathan's whispers in her ear only served to arouse her further.

"God, I love your pussy, Hales. You're always so wet for me, and when I kiss you there, when I suck your clit into my mouth. . . damn," he swore as he continued to masturbate. "You're so pretty and pink down there, and I could just eat you for hours. You taste so sweet, and when I use my tongue, you shiver and moan in the most delicious way."

Haley took a deep breath at his words, and pressed her fingers to her center, slightly easing the ache building in her core. She was hot, so very hot, and her thighs trembled as she rubbed her clit with her thumb, her other hand circling her entrance.

"Na-Nathan, I'm using my fingers now. I'm touching myself and baby, you're right. I'm soaking wet, I'm so wet, and it's all for you."

He groaned at her lustful words before continuing his description of what just exactly he would do to her if he was there.

"I alternate between sucking your clit, god, it feels so good as it throbs against my tongue, and using my tongue to tease your opening. I keep eating you until you come against my mouth, drinking down your juices as you ride out your orgasm."

Crying out softly, she thrust one finger, then another into her core as she continued rubbing her clit. Nathan had a penchant for dirty talk when they were in bed, and while Haley enjoyed and participated, it had never felt like this before. She felt wanton and nearly crazy with lust as her mind flickered between images of Nathan touching himself and her own hands as she teased her cunt.

"Before you come down from your high, I bring my fingers into play, rubbing your sensitive clit while plunging two fingers into your cunt. You're so tight, so goddamn tight around my fingers, and my eyes cross as you surround me. You feel so warm and soft, you nearly burn me with your heat, and you clench tightly against my fingers as I stroke in and out of you."

His voice is a caress, and as she mimics his words, increasing the pace of her fingers as her womb clenches, signaling the rapid approach of her climax.

"More, Nathan, m-more," she says on a rushed exhalation, needing just a bit more to send her flying over the edge.

"Al-always happy to oblige, baby," he stammers out, his own words breathy as he stokes faster, bringing his free hand to cup his balls for that extra push. "As I continue to fuck you with my fingers, I lower my head to your pussy, suckling and nibbling on your pulsing clit. You ride my fingers, your breasts jiggling with your movements and I'm torn between sucking your clit or teasing your nipples. My decision is made when you cup your breasts, toying with your perfect nipples."

"Oh god, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan," Haley chanted as she exploded into orgasm, her fingers continuing to stroke in and out of her heated depths to draw out her climax.

As he heard his wife come, Nathan couldn't prevent his own orgasm, and he slumped back against the hotel bed as he came all over his hand. He grabbed his discarded t-shirt and cleaned his emission as he chuckled at Haley's whimpers and moans.

"You okay, Hales?"

She was silent for a long pause, gathering her wits as she lay against the pillows, her body still quivering slightly from the force of her release. She was always guaranteed a tremendous orgasm with Nathan, but this, this was definitely going on her top ten list.

"Mmm," she murmured into the phone once she regained her voice. "That was. . . "

"Hot as hell? Fucking awesome? The first of many of this type of call?" He helpfully supplied, grinning at her laugh.

"Yes, yes, and. . . yes," she answered, afterglow doing wonders to lower her wariness at future late-night calls. One brain-meltingly, toe-curlingly amazing orgasm was definitely a way to make her more amenable to his away games.

They chatted for a few more minutes, Nathan teasing Haley about getting a job on one of those late-night lines, before Jamie's piercing cry sounded through the bedside monitor.

"That's your son wailing his head off, so I better go check on him," she told him as she slipped on his boxers and reached for her t-shirt. "Nathan, tonight was. . . different," she giggled, "but really, really great. Thank you."

"Anything for you, babe. But hey, next time it's your turn." He laughed at her indignant cry before telling her, "I love you, Hales. Give Jamie a kiss for me."

"I love you, too. And we'll talk about next time. After all, you did so well tonight."

"Funny. Maybe next time I'll be sure to ask my roommate to leave before you call. After all," he mocked her tone, "I didn't know how wild you'd get."

"WHAT?"

His laugh was the last thing she heard before he hung up the phone.

Nathan Scott was going to be the death of her one day. If she didn't kill him first.

_fin_


End file.
